How To Suggest Therapy To Your Partner

Although therapy can help many relationships, it is very often the case that getting your partner to see a professional therapist can be hard. In fact as soon as you suggest it to your partner, they become defensive.

They may feel as though therapy is not necessary, they may struggle to open up to other people or they may even feel ashamed that the relationship needs help. It also maybe the case that they do not value spending their spare time or their money on professional therapy for your relationship.

If you find yourself in this position it may take some convincing to get your partner to go to therapy. Here are some ways that may help:

Set A Time To Bring It Up
It should be a time where there will be no distractions.
It should be on a relaxed day where there has been no stress.
Never broach the topic during an argument as it can lead to your partner’s getting defensive.

Explain How You Feel Therapy Will Help Your Relationship
Tell them how much it means to you to do it together.
Avoid placing blame. Point out the benefits and how you think it will help your relationship.
Avoid negativity and talk about things in a matter of fact way.
Phrase the benefits in a positive manner such as:
- help us get along better
- feel more connected
- be part of a team again
- having a deeper understanding of each other
- be supportive of each other

Tell Them Your Personal Reasons For Going & What You Are Willing To Change
- it will improve your love and appreciation for your partner
- looking forward to feeling more confident again
- learning new relationship skills
- handle conflict better
- communicate more openly
- manage your frustration better
- become a more supportive partner
- learn how to express your love
- parenting as a team techniques

Discuss What Arrangements Would Make Your Partner Feel More Comfortable
Would it be preferable if it was online rather than face to face?
Agree the time and day that would be the most convenient for them.

What to Do if Your Partner Refuses
Do not carry on with trying to persuade them as it will be seen as nagging or begging.
During the time they don’t want to go maybe you can try a help video on Youtube. You never know it may change their mind.

You should consider speaking to a therapist by yourself as many relationship problems can be helped by you helping yourself change for the better.
Also if your partner sees how much it is helping you it may help them make the positive step to attend therapy with you.