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How to be a Confident Colleague

You’re at work and some of your colleagues go out for lunch, or after work drinks together & don’t invite you. Even if they did though, you would probably decline as you would feel shy and uninteresting. You desperately want to be more confident with the crowd though as you’re fed up of feeling lonely & left out.

What people desire is to be around people like them who are more on their wavelength. So if they seek interesting, fun & stimulation conversation they will hang out with the people who can provide that. Of course they will be pleasant and polite to you, but you will always remain in the quiet but uninteresting work colleague category. As you’ve already identified you want to change that, so what can you do?

Well you have two choices, do nothing and the situation remains the same. Or you take some small steps to being more confident at work. Each morning you walk into work make a conscious effort to smile & say hello to everyone you meet, ask how their evening/or weekend was, compliment them on something, don’t be gushing a short ‘I love that colour blouse it really suits you’ is enough.

Try commenting on the weather, or something in the news to open up conversation. And if you want to go out for a coffee or a drink with them, ask them. Take a deep breath, smile and say ‘do you fancy going for a coffee at lunch’. Don’t worry if they say they can’t at first as they really could genuinely have other plans, don’t see it as a set back and give up trying.

Being confident is a new behaviour that you’re trying to learn, just like trying to swim or ride a bicycle, you’ll get there in the end.